[DLC] Snowblind map pack released for Gears of War 2

The new map pack for Epic's hit release Gears of War 2 was released earlier today, providing players with four new maps for the game's multiplayer, with the price tag of 800 Microsoft points (roughly a little less than 8 euros/10 American dollars).

Aside from a feeling of freshness that comes with playing in a new environment and learning how to navigate in it, the Snowblind map pack also provides with new achievements that should keep people playing for a while.

The catch (aside from the price which I personally find a bit steep) is the fact that it's not available in all European countries, including my own, thanks to "region locking". This policy is highly unfair towards paying customers, and I do wish Microsoft would reconsider it altogether, but it doesn't seem likely.

Oh, well. I'll just buy Dishwasher Samurai tomorrow with my points, then.

TL;DR Version

No review today thanks to a local Street Fighter tournament that took most of my time over the weekend, but Thursday's review should be pretty special. Stay tuned.

[Review] Resident Evil 5

The Resident Evil series, along with Street Fighter, have been Capcom’s premiere franchises for over a decade. In fact, Resident Evil took up as the main franchise once people started getting tired for shooting balls of fire and uppercutting tigers. It’s rather ironic therefore, or perhaps part of a brilliant plan, that the two hugely-anticipated sequels to both franchises came out with less than a month’s time between them.

However, whereas Street Fighter had to reinvent itself to appeal to a mainstream audience again, Resident Evil was coming hot of the success of 2005’s Resident Evil 4, a favorite of consumers and critics alike. Therefore, Capcom decided to play it safe, as it where, and build its latest opus on top of its previous success. This means that Resident Evil 5 closely resembles its predecessor, with similar level and missions structure, upgradable weapons system and limited environmental puzzles.

The only real addition is Sheva, your partner throughout the game. Whether controlled by A.I. or a human player, she is always by your side as you fight the hordes of zombie... things, in what can be assumed as an influence from games such as Gears of War.

One part where Resident Evil part 5 differs from part 4 however, is the storyline. RE4 was designed as a stand-alone game, a necessary fact as it was essentially a reboot of the series. On the other hand, RE5 -while still loosely following on 4’s storyline-, ties the whole Las Plagas[*] incident with the main story of the series.

Capcom went to such lengths to ensure the transition would be smooth for most fans by making an entire feature-length CG movie called Resident Evil: Degeneration[*2]. The odd thing is, there was nothing memorable about the story in any of the previous RE games, aside from a few unintentionally hilarious lines[*3], so this move by Capcom is a somewhat mind-boggling.

Street Fighter IV was a risk and proved to be a great success. Resident Evil 5 on the other hand is playing it safe, but does it achieve the same result? Well, yes and no...

Things Resident Evil 5 does right:

- As far as graphics are concerned, the game is astounding. Character models are beautifully designed, the screen is usually filled with enemies, the environments are rich and detailed, the animation is smooth and the environmental lighting effects are mind-blowingly amazing. There’s the odd low resolution texture here and there, but that’s pretty much a Capcom trademark by now.

- Sheva’s A.I. works great, at least on the first two (out of four) difficulty levels. She’s much smarter than say, Dom from Gears, in that she’s actually helpful at times. For that alone, Capcom’s attempt is commendable. The limitations of her A.I. start to show on the harder difficulty levels, but the game’s hardly fair on those levels anyway.

- RE5 wraps up the entire Umbrella/S.T.A.R.S. saga that begun all the way back in 1996 with the very first game in the series. While the resolution is hardly inspiring or original[*4], it at least provides closure to the long-term fans of the series. The story itself is still horrible, of course, but at this point in the series that’s pretty much a given.

- The Mercenaries mode, unlocked after finishing the game, is incredibly fun and addictive, and is made even better by the fact that you can play cooperatively online. The addition of online leaderboards and unlockable characters makes this perhaps the best feature of the game, and one you will probably be playing long after finishing the story mode.

Things about Resident Evil 5 that aren’t that hot:

- Despite the pretty graphics and added co-op mode, there’s no denying the simple fact: This game feels like Resident Evil 4.5: The High Definition edition. The gameplay feels the same, certain set-pieces look and feel exactly the same as in RE4 and in a way I can’t quite comprehend, even the environments feel exactly the same as in the previous game.

This didn’t hit me until the abandoned-temple-with-fire-traps stage, but at that point this nagging feeling of deja-vu was too strong to ignore. The game feels, thematically, far too close to RE4. Which isn’t a bad thing since RE4 was excellent, but after four years we were rightfully expecting more.

- The storyline is just awful. This directly contradicts my point about taking this as a given with RE games, but at least previous installments in the series were bad in a funny way. RE5’s story is just mind-numbingly bad, and not in a way that makes you laugh at it. Instead, you almost feel pity for the poor actors who had to recite such atrocious dialog.

- The game’s controls, in typical RE fashion, take a while getting used to, and aren’t as intuitive as other games in the genre such as Dead Space. Having complete control over a character is crucial, and while you’ll rarely find yourself struggling with the gamepad instead of your undead adversaries, it does feel like RE5 is stuck in the past with its control scheme. I personally don’t mind not being able to walk while shooting, but taking several moments to simply turn my character 90 degrees is no longer acceptable.

- Environments are completely incoherent with one another. You’ll visit contemporary African towns, native African villages seemingly untouched by time, and warehouses straight out of a Metal Gear Solid game without a logical connection between them. It feels completely random, and makes it hard to relate to the story and characters[*5].

- RE5 is lacking in the atmosphere department, even when compared to its predecessors. While the Resident Evil games were never really scary, with the exception of the very first game and its remake[*6], they were never lacking in atmosphere. Even the most action-oriented RE3 and 4 were characterized by an immersive, almost malevolent atmosphere.

Not so much with RE5, whose environments are too bright and generic, and whose enemies are too dull and uninspired for that. Things can still get pretty intense during a fight, but when not in one you no longer get that feeling of paranoia; peeking around every corner, waiting for something nasty to jump at you.

In the end, while still a decent game and a worthy addition to the long-running series, Resident Evil 5 feels like a step back from the standards set by the previous game in the series, a game that came out four long years ago. Therefore, while the intentions of making a good game were there, the execution wasn’t quite there and RE5 earns the title:

Close, But No Cigar

TL;DR Version

A perfect example of how Resident Evil 5 doesn’t live up to its predecessors is the fact that they managed to make Jill Valentine almost ugly and boyish looking. What the Hell, people. A pretty Jill Valentine was the only reason the second RE movie was barely watchable, you can’t screw up the basics like that.

Also, dude, where’s my Merchant? He was one of the most funny and memorable things about Resident Evil 4, and to see him replaced with a simple menu screen... ugh. That’s definitely uninspired.

* The less you know...
*2 A pretty decent and entertaining movie in its own right
*3 A fact apparently acknowledged by Capcom given the name of one of the Achievements/Trophies called “The Masters of Removing”

*4 MINOR SPOILER ALERT:

Why does every RE game have to end up with a

helicopter disappearing into the horizon?

*5 Well, even more so.
*6 Fuck those Crimson Heads. Fuck them.

[Review] Peggle

If you haven't heard of Peggle by now... Well, frankly? Don't feel that bad, since I only first learned of each existence about a year ago. Or maybe we should both feel bad. I don't know.

At any rate, for those of you still unfamiliar with Peggle (yes, both of you), it is a simple puzzle game that will remind you old farts out there of Arcanoid and Puzzle Bobble. You are given a certain amount of balls which you then fire at blocks called “pegs”. The two variations of pegs (orange and blue) are destroyed on impact, and in order to clear the stage, you need to clear all of the orange pegs.

Perhaps the best way to describe it would be “This decade’s Tetris” -in the sense that it is simple enough for anyone, no matter what their relationship with videogames is, to finish at least one stage. At the same time, it’s deep enough to ensure you’ll want to keep playing and getting better at it.

The result is a very addictive puzzle game, arguably the most addictive since, well, Tetris. And as anyone who lived through the "Tetris Fever" epidemic of the late 80’s/early 90’s will tell you, it’s not something you’ll want to repeat[*]. Although, once you start playing, you no longer have the option of stopping.

You now have the Tetris music playing in your head

After debuting on the PC and later ported into anything Apple-related, Peggle was recently ported on the Xbox 360’s Live Arcade platform (with an added 4-player mode), with a PS3 version to follow later this year, giving console gamers a chance to experience the madness for themselves.

To put all the above into a more quantifiable way:

Things Peggle does right:

- Simple. Fun. Simply fun. People are calling it “virtual bubblewrap” for a reason. Even if you are horrible in this game, you can have a good time just by destroying random pegs since it oddly feels very satisfying to do so. And, as with real bubblewrap, you can go on for hours.

- Visually, Peggle is a very appealing game. True to its gameplay, its looks are very simple yet also very beautiful. Vibrant colors, cute characters, pretty special effects won’t appeal to the hardcore Gears of War/Killzone crowd, but they will appeal to everyone else, including the girlfriends/parents/younger siblings of the previous group. Same goes for the audio of this game, with the use of classic music making the completition of a level feel positively epic.

Trust me, it does

- Peggle's gameplay has the perfect balance between skill and luck. The physics of this game are lenient enough for even less-than-stellar players to make big shots and complete the latter levels, but at the same time provide enough depth for you competitive types out there to flaunt your peg-smashing skills to newcomers, and with luck, make them cry.

Added bonus if it's a Ken player

- The 4-player Party mode that was added for the Xbox 360 release is incredibly fun, and makes that 1 million[*2] shot feel that much sweeter.

Things about Peggle that aren’t that hot:

- It’s just a puzzle game. This goes two ways: you either get it, or you don’t. If you fall on the second category, you will never like it, even if you try.

- The sequel, Peggle Nights, was not included in the 360 version. It makes sense from a business point of view, since it will be released eventually and people will buy it anyway. Not to mention that the price would have to be higher than the very attractive $10 Peggle 360 was released for.

- The other multiplayer version, Duel mode feels rather limited, especially when compared to Party mode, as it often comes down to who gets to hit the last orange peg.

Peggle is an honest game. All it offers to the player is pretty colors, catchy sounds and simple gameplay. At the same time, however, this is also what makes it so damn fun. Therefore, it earns the title of:

The Genuine Article

TL;DR version:

“And when the power goes off for good then I
Will play it in my head until I die”

(Neil Gaiman, Virus)[*3]

If you’re still unconvinced, there’s an extensive demo you can try at the official Peggle site, and the Xbox 360 Live Marketplace. Just make sure you don’t have any further obligations later that day.

* I’m thinking that perhaps this is the reason behind the failure of all those MMORPG’s that tried to attract the disgruntled World of Warcraft players. I mean, who would want to go through all of that again?

*2 Not that I would know how that feels, but whatever.

*3 A story that always made me think of Tetris.

[Review] Street Fighter IV

There are some things we take as given. Anyone remotely interested in fighting games, or games in general even, will have probably heard of the following words, names and phrases at least once:

“Fireball”, “Ryu”, “Dragon Punch”, “Ken”, “Chun Li’s Thighs”, “THROWS ARE CHEAP YOU PUNK BITCH”.

This is especially true for people who were really into gaming back in the 90’s, when Capcom was practically shoving 2D fighters down our throats every second week or so. Not that we complained.

Which is why a new sequel to the main Street Fighter franchise is such a big deal. It’s also why it’s been almost a decade since Street Fighter III first hit the console scene.

These reasons are also why Street Fighter IV tries to appeal to both new and old players, “casual” gamers and returning pros. People in their late teens won’t care about a game that came out when they were five years old for nostalgia's sake, the same way people in my age group (late 20’s) never really cared about Yie Ar Kung Fu and such. Yet at the same time, you have to appeal to older gamers who would love to play a new game with characters they remember from their early years, like the green monster dude that electrifies people.

We call him Jimmy

The result was a game that is indeed appealing to both old and new players, with an instantly familiar cast that is still charming enough despite their age and the rather silly concepts* behind some of them. The new characters aren’t as immediately likeable as the old cast, perhaps due to their “new kid” status, but they grow on most people before long. Yes, even Rufus.

Not as cool as this Rufus, still.

The gameplay should also appeal to both newcomers and returning pros, as it is much more simplified to the parry-fests and custom-combo madness that were SFIII and the SF Alpha series, yet it is still complicated enough to reward patience and muscle memory over random button mashing.

Pros and Cons time!

Things SFIV does right:

- SFIV is a true sequel to the SF franchise. It combines the fireballs-and-uppercuts gameplay of SFII, with the added use of EX special moves (an extra strong version of a special move with added bonuses such as fireball invincibility) and super cancels from SFIII. It will remind you of the previous games, but feel fresh at the same time. In a word, SFIV feels right.

- Visually, SFIV is a gorgeous game. While the polygon count is not as high as in, say, Gears of War 2 or Killzone 2, the animation is simply beautiful and the special effects that cover the screen during each fight are equally as impressive. Some of the character designs are rather questionable, but for the most part, the fighters look great[*2].

- The added option to accept a challenge from another player online while you’re in the single player Arcade mode is a very inspired addition. In fact, it is the closest we’ll ever get to being challenged by a complete stranger in a regular arcade place these days. Proceeding to kick their behinds is almost as satisfying, still.

- Focus Attacks, the one truly new thing (Ultras being just a variation of Super moves) about SFIV work great. You can play and win a game just fine without them, or even with limited application. However, once you start using them as part of your regular set of moves, and especially when you use them to cancel special moves into Ultra combos then you’ve “unlocked” a completely new level of the game.

- The roster of the game is, for the most part, balanced in a fair way. Not a mean feat, given the amount of fighters (24).

Things about SFIV that aren't that hot:

- Jumping (an integral part of most 2D fighters[*3]) feels weird in this game. Whether you want to call the jumps themselves floaty, or as if the fighters were covered in jello or perhaps even underwater, there’s a certain something about jumping in this game that feels very different to its predecessors. You get used to it after a while, but it will still mean that sometimes your cross-up (jumping over an opponent to mess up with his blocking) will miss, or even make you land in front of your opponent. Very frustrating when it happens at key points in a fight.

- While the roster, as mentioned earlier, is quite balanced, a few characters stand out. Namely, Sagat and Zangief. Sagat does insane damage and has multitude of options depending on the case, while Zangief’s throws and his Spinning Lariat move have priority over pretty much everything other characters throw at him. Nothing about these two characters is grossly overpowered, but it does seem as rather unfair compared to what other characters have to deal with[*4].

- Ultra moves - the jury’s still out on those. They work in the sense that newcomers can still try and put up a fight even after a bad start, but it’s kind of ridiculous that it’s not uncommon to have your Ultra move ready twice a round, while it takes almost two rounds to fill your Super bar. For the record, Ultras generally do more damage than Supers. Furthermore, the fact that some characters can combo into their ultra with ease, while others have no such option, is fundamentally unfair.

- Certain aspects of the game feel like a stepback from Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix (HDR). For example, moves such as Cammy’s Hooligan Combination that were simplified in HDR in order to be more useful, are back to their original, and pretty complicated, motions for SFIV. A rather weird decision, given how the game is marketed towards the casual market. Moreover, the lack of online lobbies which allow for more than two players to join is rather perplexing. It makes playing the game with more than just one friend online rather frustrating, since someone will have to leave the lobby after each match.

- The online experience is a mixed bag. I’ve had matches against people in Japan which were super-smooth with no lag whatsoever, yet I get huge lagspikes while playing people in my own city. On the whole though, online works much better than most other 3D fighters, especially when compared to say Soulcalibur IV.

- For the first time in a Street Fighter game, characters have a second set of costumes available for them, rather than just different colors as was the case before. The catch? You have to pay for them. The amount is pretty small, but most people don’t appreciate paying for content that was already in the game disk they bought. Not to mention that some of the costumes themselves are simply lazy, such as Dhalsim’s. Rose’s, however, is awesome.

Look to the left

In the end though, none of SFIV’s (admittedly several) negative points are anywhere close to being game-breaking. As a result, this is a triumphant return to form for the franchise, after reaching a low point in the early to mid 00’s, and for that reason earns the title of:

The Genuine Article

TL;DR version:

Don't be this guy. Seriously.

I should also say, I find it mind-boggling that Capcom would spend resources on adding anime cut-scenes at the beginning and ending of each character's Arcade mode (and an entire movie on top of that for the Collector's edition) and yet never bother with quality control, as the cut-scenes are atrocious.

* After all these years, Edmond Honda is still traveling around the world, beating people up to show them that Sumo is the superior form of martial arts. I’m not sure if that’s ridiculous or just awesome.

*2 Unsurprisingly, the female fighters look better than their male counterparts. I don’t blame them being more inspired by Cammy’s tush than Honda’s fat belly, though. Amusingly enough however, we end up seeing close-ups of both.

*3 Even if people tend to overdo it.

*4 Give Rose an overhead, what the fuck. No, seriously.

[News] The PAX 10 Independent Game Competition

The Penny Arcade Expo (PAX for short), the highly successful gaming expo from the people behind the Penny Arcade webcomic, will be hosting another competition for independently produced games later this year.

This is a great opportunity for independent game-makers, as PAX gathers several tens of thousands of visitors each year. As such, it's a great place for indie developers to show off the labors of their hard work.

Last year's winner, 3D action/platform The Maw*, was released in late January this year on the Xbox 360 Live Arcade market and became both a commercial and a critical success. Moreover, it has already received a great deal of support from Microsoft in the form of special promotions and downloadable content.

For more information, including rules and guidelines, visit the Expo's official site here.

(via Gamasutra)

TL;DR version:

If you're an indie game creator, now's the perfect chance to stop being a lazy ass and actually produce something. So get to it!

* Everybody seemed to love that game, except for me. I was going to say it's because I'm too old and jaded for such cheerful games, but then again I like Boogie Bunnies. Go figure.

[Review] Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix

Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix (HDR for short) could have been a legitimate candidate for the "Game with the longest name ever" award, if not for that Penny Arcade game. It is, however, the favorite for receiving the "Most often remade" award, currently numbering... Actually, I lost count.

More importantly, though, it's also one of the prime candidates for the "Most finely-tuned and balanced competitive game ever", and that one is something to brag about.

Enough fancy talk for now, though. Time for a little history lesson. Given that the first edition (oh, there’ve been a few) of Street Fighter II, called The World Warrior, came out seventeen (17) years ago, and the last version, Super Street Fighter II Turbo, came out fourteen (14) years ago, quite a few people may have missed on the behemoth that this game was back then. Not only did it shape the entire fighting genre for years to come, as countless imitators appeared overnight, it also became a new benchmark for success in the market.

At a time when videogames were still ignored by the mainstream, SFII’s protagonists Ryu and Ken were amongst the few characters alongside Mario and Sonic to be recognised by anyone except the most dedicated of gamers. SFII not only managed to revitalize the Arcade (the what?) scene, where it created huge lines of people waiting to play that guy “that just beats everyone!”, it was also the first arcade game to be ported (almost) perfectly in a home console, in its 1992 SNES version*.

Lastly, and perhaps more importantly, it was the first competitive game to achieve such unprecedented popularity. There were games were it was much more fun to beat a human opponent than the CPU before (*2) but never before was a game so perfectly balanced for competitive play, nor had its multiplayer aspect as its focus. I’m probably going to get crucified for this, but I’ll argue that had it not been for Street Fighter II, the entire competitive aspect of gaming would have been vastly different, and games such as Quake 3: Arena and Counter-Strike might have not been as popular.

Just look at the early FPS games, none of them had anything more than an afterthought of a multiplayer. Technological issues were obviously a factor here, but competitive multiplayer in FPS’s didn’t become a factor until after the popularity of fighting game (and SFII in particular) tournaments.

Now that the history lesson is over, let’s take a closer look at this specific version of Super Turbo. As you may have guessed, the “HD Remix” part refers to the game being redone for a contemporary audience. The graphics were redone in High Definition, from scratch, by UDON Entertainment, also responsible for the successful Street Fighter comic books, the music themes were remixed by the people of OverClocked ReMix (*3), and the gameplay was rebalanced by long-time Street Fighter tournament player and gaming developer, David Sirlin.

This means this version is a labor of love from people who love Street Fighter and “get” what made it great back in the day, and why it is relevant even today, more than a decade since its release. Their intentions, to make this new version the best possible. The result is a game that looks, sounds and plays great, even without nostalgia clouding our judgement. HDR is a great game with our current standards.

So, without further delay, on with the lists:

Things HDR does right:

- It’s Super Street Fighter II Turbo, for the HD generation. As corny as that sounds, it’s true. Gorgeous high-definition graphics, a remixed soundtrack that works wonderfully in a contemporary environment and the tried-and-true gameplay of Super Turbo, a game that’s still being played competitively today, with some enlightened changes that make it even better (*4). It’s an amazing remake of what’s undeniably a classic game, it’d be hard for anyone to ask for more.

- Another thing about the music, the folks at OCRemix managed to make even Sagat’s theme sound good. I never thought that was actually possible.

- Yet another sidenote on something mentioned earlier, the changes made to the gameplay and certain movement inputs succeed in making the game simpler (so that you don’t have to worry about actually performing the move but rather when to perform it) but never make the game simplistic. You still have to have the muscle memory and timing needed for pulling off a 7-hit combo, button-mashers need not apply.

- The online multiplayer is amazing, which is a needed change after the atrocity that was Street Fighter II Hyper Fighting on the Xbox 360. Capcom had an entire beta test devoted to getting it right, and through the use of GGPO, they succeeded. There’s the occasional laggy match every now and then, but for the most part it’s very smooth, even when playing across continents.

- You can’t see which character your opponent selects on online multiplayer. This is HUGE. So many times people would cheese it out, waiting for you to pick a character after like half an hour, so they could pick a counter-character. One of my favorite changes.

- There’s no denying it, Super Turbo is still one of the best fighting games around, and this enhanced version only adds to that. It’s intuitive, easy to pick up yet demanding enough to challenge most players when it comes to mastering it.

People that had either forgotten about this fact through the years, or had never spent any time with SFII back in the day, now have the perfect opportunity to remember/find out what the big deal is(*5).

Things about HDR that aren't that hot:

- For all its smoothness, there’s a few bugs plaguing the online multiplayer part. The music sometimes stops abruptly and you have to restart the game, health bars have the tendency to disappear leaving you clueless as to how much life either player has, and there’s also a few random disconnects as a fight is about to start. The latter is particularly annoying in ranked matches, as it counts as a defeat. Nothing a patch wouldn’t fix, let’s hope one is on the way.
-An annoyance related to the multiplayer that came along the way is the nasty bug that reduced most people's online rating to zero, with no way of ever regaining it back. As a result, ranked matches are now pretty much the same as player matches, without lobbies.

- The animation is unchanged from the original, as this would have required remaking the entire game from scratch. As a result, it looks kind of strange at times, but you get used to it eventually.

- Being a rather delayed project, means that HDR was released very close to the next real chapter in the franchise, Street Fighter IV, which is coming out in late February. As such, HDR may be seen by some as merely a prelude to SFIV. Their loss, however.

- No other single-player modes other than Arcade (Story) and training. I confess, I’m just grasping at this point. A survival mode or such would have been neat, but it’s hardly a glaring omission. Multiplayer is the game’s selling point, after all.

Things I just don't get:

- The lack of a real demo is rather perplexing. The Playstation3 version has no demo whatsoever, while the X360 version got the Ryu/Ken multiplayer-only beta version offered earlier this year with Commando 3. Not that you need a demo for what is essentially a fourteen year old game, but it could help convincing those skeptical newcomers.

The above signify that on George's Intention-Meter, Super Street Fighter II HD Remix receives of the title of:
The Genuine Article

TL;DR version:

Seriously, just listen to this music:


If you ever loved Street Fighter II, chances are it will remind you why it was that great back then, even if you can’t quite put your finger on it. If you were never a fan, well... what’s your excuse? As I said earlier, there’s a reason why people are still playing this game, in tournaments or otherwise, and why it makes so many “Best Games Ever” lists.

Go on, try this shiny new version. You know you want to.

* In fact, it’s still Capcom’s best-selling game, even after all these years.
*2 Hell, its prequel was one of them!
*3 You can download the full soundtrack at their website, too!
*4 I can actually do Hooligan Throw now.
*5 One thing I find particularly amazing is seeing how many people this release has brought back to this game. Styles of play differ for each version of SFII, and people using them are very distinct. You can tell when somebody hasn’t played SFII since, say, Champions Edition, and seeing them back in a SF game just brings a smile to my face. I’m weird like that.

[Review] Too Human

Some people say there's no such thing as bad publicity. Of course, people say lots of things, and not all of them are right. If Too Human by Silicon Knights is any indication, they're wrong about this bad publicity thing too.

Too Human had been floating around as a concept for a good while now. Originally planned as a game for the original Playstation, one can only guess what that game would have been like. In my idealistic dreams, I like to think of it as a traditional isometric action-RPG, with the atmosphere of Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain and the addictive gameplay of the Diablo series.

Regardless of what might have been, the Too Human we got is still an action-RPG, only it emphasizes more on the action part, with the ability of pulling off huge combos. The analogy I like is that Too Human feels like a (clumsy) combination of Devil May Cry and Phantasy Star Online. The emphasis on gathering more and better loot is also here, similar to the Diablo games, although the various categories of loot are shamelessly ripped from World of Warcraft, with the colors white, green, blue, purple, orange and red* denoting progressively better loot, exactly as in Blizzard's game.

I mentioned bad publicity earlier, and that's what this game was getting long before its release. Not from professional gaming journalists originally, but rather from gaming enthusiasts in forums such as NeoGAF. This in turn opened up a whole different can of worms, recall that 1UP Yours podcast from '08 with Silicon Knight's Dennis Dyack if you will, but that's not something I'd like to get into right now. At any rate, this early yet very negative word of mouth was what made the release of a demo a necessity, though it's hard to tell if the demo worked for better or worse, given the game's scope and ambition.

You can't fault Too Human for being ambitious, Hell, it claims to be the first part in an "epic trilogy"*2 that's to be finished by 20XX, where XX stands for "God only knows". Sadly, though ambition can sometimes be a fantastic driving force, it's also a main ingredient in any good recipe for destruction. It feels like Silicon Knights got themselves into something bigger than they could handle, since even aspects where they usually excel at (voice acting and storytelling) are surprisingly mediocre this time around.

That's not to say it's an awful game that has no redeeming features, so without further ado...

Things Too Human does right:

- Loot-based gameplay is always addictive, and quite fun. The game successfully teases you with pretty items from the first fifteen minutes, and it never stops on giving.

- Online two-player co-op is fun with a friend, if you get two classes that complement each other well. Sadly, playing the game cooperatively means that you don't get to see a single cutscene throughout the game.

- Once you get the hang of it, the gameplay is pretty smooth and fun, and once you get in a rhythm, you'll be dispatching foes left and right with ease. Sadly, it takes a while before that happens, and that is rather disappointing. Which leads us to...

Things about Too Human that aren't that hot:

- The control system. It's been discussed back and forth since the release of the demo, and some people argue that a dungeon-crawler such as Too Human just wouldn't work if you just had to mash the A button over and over.

I agree with this statement, though I fail to see how tying a bunch of moves to the right analog stick works better. It's clumsy, unintuitive and takes far too long getting used to. And this is coming from someone who played 2D fighters on the Dreamcast D-pad without problems.

- The graphics are really, really bland. Not only from a technical point of view, though the rather low number of polygons doesn't help, but mainly from a design point of view. Stages are composed of huge empty corridors, with uninspiring architecture, while the characters and enemies themselves are at best completely unspectacular, while others look utterly ridiculous. My favorite would be Fenrir, which looks more like an angry chicken than a cybernetic wolf*3.

- The second stage of the game, Ice Forest, is atrocious. It's far too long, in fact it's longer than the rest of the game combined. Seriously, the game took me 10 hours to complete and 6 of those hours were spent on Ice Forest alone. To make matters worse, it's badly designed, with either huge breaks in the action, or huge segments where you don't get a second to breathe between enemy waves.

- The story likes to think it's much smarter than it really is. I can't get into many details since the game is still pretty new and I'd like to avoid spoilers, so I'll be brief. First of all, the whole idea of the Norse gods portrayed as technologically advanced individuals is not as original as it believes, and it's also presented in a very superficial manner (Odin has a secretary? Really?)

Moreover, nothing really happens story-wise until the very end of the game, where things simply get messy. Solliloquies filled with self-righteousness, enough angst to rival Kratos, an ending that leaves too many questions unanswered... You get the idea. If the rest of the game was top-notch, these would be mere footnotes, but as it stands, it makes the game feel pretentious.

- While you get fancy and shiny items from the get-go, if you want to get the absolute best item sets in the game, you'll have to grind yourself retarded. And while some people enjoy grinding, given the game's short length, I'm not sure if anyone will be willing to visit the same four areas over and over again.

Things I just don't get:

- Seriously, whose idea was it to cut all cutscenes from the multiplayer campaign? I know the game is supposed to be a loot-based dungeon crawler, but that's way too fucking cynical.

- For a game that's copying so many games which are played (either predominantly or exclusively) online, the fact that Too Human's multiplayer is limited to two players is mind-boggling. Dyack claimed this was the only way to keep the game balanced, but I'm not buying it.

Hell, balance, shmalance. If you could play this game with two more people, it would have been much more fun thanks to cooperation/communication, even if you just breezed through the entire thing.

- I also don't get what happened with the voice acting. Silicon Knights consistently provided with some of the best voice acting in the field, yet this time around, it varies from underwhelming to "just okay". I guess it's a side-effect of the silly storyline.

- Don't even get me started on the Valkyrie/Death sequence.

The above signify that on George's Intention-Meter, Too Human receives of the title of:

Superfluous Monkey

TL;DR version:

Yes, in all fairness I had already declared my opinion of this game in my review manifesto, but Too Human is an interesting case that demands further investigation. It is, in a few words, a decent game which would like to think of itself the equivalent of sliced bread.

This is painfully obvious during its groan-inducing cutscenes, which feel more like punishment and less like reward after fighting yet another wave of identical looking baddies.

*Although we never actually got artifacts ("red" items) in WoW, they existed as a concept originally.

**I dream that one day we'll never get an "epic trilogy of whatever" ever again.

***Seriously, a cybernetic wolf. How can anyone fuck that one up?

[Review Manifesto] Cruel's Intentions

A few years ago, while discussing video games, the following question came to my mind:

"What's the difference between a good game I dislike, and a bad game I like?"

Soon thereafter, I found out that this question applies not only to video games, but also to movies, books, TV shows, music, you name it. This made finding an answer even more important, completely subjective though it would be.

Then in Spring of 2007, during a Therapy? concert, the answer hit me: it's the intentions behind the game, movie, concert, what have you, that make the difference. You see, Therapy? weren't on a very good night that time, most of their songs didn't really resemble their studio album counterparts, and their sound was pretty mediocre. But they had loads of energy and enthusiasm, so even if their performance wasn't the best, I found myself having fun. Their performance was lacking, but their intentions were not. So I was a satisfied customer that night.

Therefore, since that day, the creator's assumed (as you can never know 100% unless explicitly told so) intentions with their finished product is perhaps the single most important thing for me, when evaluating something. Moreover, I feel that examining the intentions behind something is a good way of doing away with the level of sheer negativity that is so prevalent over the Internet nowadays, i.e "Everything sucks".

Naturally, even with the best intentions in the world, you may have a mediocre end product. This is why my reviews on this blog will be divided into three parts:

What It Does Right - What is it about the item in review that makes it work, what makes it stand above its competition?

Things About It That Aren't That Hot - Nothing's ever perfect, so what are its flaws?

Things That Make No Sense - " Why am I not allowed to change my character in Virtua Fighter 5's Arcade Mode after losing a match and continuing?", " Why did the writers of Heroes think that regurgitating the same plots and villains was a good idea?" and other things I just don't get.

Personally, I'm not very fond of scores in reviews, even if it's the first thing everybody (myself included) reads in one. Regardless, scores usually retract from the text itself, and are ultimately rather arbitrary, especially given how many different scales there are out there. 3 out of 5 stars doesn't really equal 60%, for example.

Consequently, instead of adding an arbitrary number at the end of my reviews, I will be instead adding my personal evaluation of what I perceived to be the creators' intentions with their product. To make matters simpler, this evaluation will belong in one of the following categories, in order of declining quality:

The Genuine Article: A creator's lovechild, the result of the finest of intentions and the highest of production values. Examples include:

Iron Man: As fine a popcorn a film as you can get, Iron Man combines incredible visual effects and breath-taking action with genuine characters you can relate to, and a plot that's not full of holes!

Portal: While some would argue that visually it is a very simplistic game, that would be missing the point. Portal is a very stylized game that manages to do a lot with so little, visually. Moreover, its gameplay is polished to perfection, it offers an antagonist that will definitely be quoted for years to come and also has a very deep storyline, told in surprisingly subtle ways.

Almost, But No Cigar: Something that would have ended in the above category, if not for a few frustrating issues, even if it begun with the best of intentions. Examples include:

Dreamfall: One of the finest storylines in a game, ever, with some of the best characters around, it genuinely tried to break from the conventions of the point & click adventure, and reinvent a genre. Also one of my favorite games. However, it's hard to overlook the clunky combat and stealth segments, as well as the oversimplified gameplay with trivial environment interactivity.

Heroes, Season One (excluding the god-awful finale): The first season of Heroes almost succeeded in doing what it promised: Present a story about people with superpowers in the real world, trying to live their every day lives while coming to terms with what they're capable of. Sadly, the fact that it was originally planned for only 12 episodes meant that Heroes suffered from pacing issues in the second half of the season, as well as mediocre action scenes due to its low budget.

Paving the Road to Hell: With the best of intentions. The creator of this product meant well, but the end result is closer to a disappointment than a success. Even so, it can still prove to be an enjoyable experience. A couple of examples:

Daredevil (the movie): At times a genuine try at portraying a more realistic type of superhero, with an actual story at that, it falls victim to the usual Hollywood conventions and Affleck's limited acting skills. I still liked the movie, to the bafflement of many of my friends.

World of Warcraft - The Burning Crusade: Blizzard's attempt to do away with the limited quests, huge dungeons and grind-happy nature of vanilla WoW, ultimately fails due to a variety of reasons. Due to the lack of a real storyline behind the journey to Outlands, quests feel unconnected to the world, the shorter dungeons often feel superficial, and the Endgame is even more of a grind than before.

Bad, and Loving it: While hardly top-notch by most standards, a product that falls in this category is fully aware of its quality (or lack thereof) and instead builds on this. Often a loving homage to its influences.

Kung Fu Hustle: A homage to wire-fu (modern wuxia) movies, exaggerated to the point of being cartoony, and totally hillarious.

The Powerthirst videos: Visual gags and puns so bad, they'll make you literally laugh out loud.

Obnoxiously pretentious: While there's nothing pattently wrong with being pretentious per se, when something gets stuck up its own ass, then there is a problem indeed. More often than not, something obnoxiously pretentious will take itself far too seriously. There can still be redeeming features in them, though they're usually overshadowed by liquid pretentiousness. Illustrious examples include:

Fahrenheit/Indigo Prophecy: With a storyline that degenerates from engaging to utter nonsense a few hours in, and gameplay that takes us back into Track n' Field button mashing, this game would like to think it revolutionized storytelling in video games through interactive cut-scenes. What it did instead was give people a legitimate reason for loathing Quick Time Events.

Ang Lee's Hulk: It valiantly tried to re-invent the comic book movie through the use of multiple panels, reminiscent of a comic book page. Mutated pink chihuahuas and the main antagonist's transformation into a giant electromagnetic id, however, meant that the movie felt like pretentious shit.

Superfluous Monkey: Something that shamelessly copies from a variety of sources (or in extreme situations, copies an existing product completely) and has the audacity to believe that it actually surpasses them in quality. Sadly, what usually happens is that it completely fails to understand what made the originals so appealing in the first place. Eeeeeeeexamples:

Too Human: It combines Devil May Cry inspired, action-oriented combat, Diablo-style dungeon crawls and loot-based gameplay, World of Warcraft-y talent trees and storytelling reminiscent of BioWare's RPG's. And Too Human manages to botch up the majority of them.

CSI Miami: While it was created by the same people behind the original CSI: Las Vegas, in an effort to prevent other channels from making their own CSI clones, it had none of the wit and gritty charm that the original had. Amusingly enough, most the inevitable CSI clones are much better than Miami.

Cynical Cash-In: What the name (oh so) subtly implies. The lowest of the low, a product completely neglected by its creator, existing only to make loads of cash with the target demographic. More often than not, a cynical cash-in is of the lowest overall quality. Examples are numerous, but two that stand out are:

Dead or Alive Xtreme 2: Doing away with the original game's attempt at being a decent beach volley simulation, DOAX2 instead is a collection of mind-numbingly boring minigames, which only exist as an excuse for dressing the female protagonists in outfits worthy of softcore porn movies. The game's cynicism extends to the fact that its graphics (by far the high point of the original, and understandably its main appeal) are nothing special.

Spider-Man 3: A ridiculous plot, with some genuinely embarrassing moments, a retarded love triangle, a random collection of Spidey villains and visual effects straight from 2002. A kick in the nuts for all fans of the first two Spider-Man films.